Woolsthorpe, England, 25 December ; d.
September 6, at 3: My mother was not as bad as yours but she certainly did her share of damage. I have just turned 41, in July. I wished I was dead to be honest. The last male I was with cruelly discarded me.
He was a narcissistic person like my mother. None of my relationships with men worked out because all of them were with cruel narcissistic men.
Because my own mother was the model I knew and unconsciously, I have been drawn to men who are cruel in the same ways she was. They have set me up on guilt trips as she used to. They have threatened abandonment and carried that out as she did.
They have made me afraid of being alone exactly as she did during my formative years. They threatened to take away what meant the most to me if I did not do as they said, exactly as she used to to get her own way from me.
She would spend hours ranting to my father about my mistakes. On one hand she would be very nice if I did what she wanted but if I did not, she would threaten to sell the holiday house she owned, that she knew I loved, if I did not do as she said.
She did the same thing of one boyfriend I had. I did not like him much but she created a huge drama out of my friendship with him, putting words into my mouth and making me ashamed, confirming the worst I had ever imagined would happen if I ever went out with a male.
My mother, set me up to brainwash myself to hate men, so she could later blame me and point the finger at me when I failed in relationships. She was obsessed with me having babies so much so that I had an abortion at 28 years of age when I got pregnant and begged the surgeon to sterilise me so I would never have children.
I feel I made the responsible choice there. I am grateful to the doctor who tied my tubes. No miserable children will ever come from me. I was terrified of getting fat.
My mother had spent her life comparing her body to mine and going on about diets. She had poor self-image herself and was not able to lose weight after having children. I decided never to have children because they would make me fat.4.
She ‘favoritizes’. Narcissistic mothers often have one child who is “the golden child” and another who is the scapegoat.
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4. She ‘favoritizes’.
Narcissistic mothers often have one child who is “the golden child” and another who is the scapegoat. 5. She undermines She will pick a fight with you or be especially critical and unpleasant just before you have to make a major effort.